I’m currently sitting in the dark in front of the window….the heater in my apartment won’t turn off! The struggle is real. Welp, at least I know the heat works!! As my birthday is coming to an end in less than 46 minutes. I decided not to do my daily night routine, which consist of laying bed, being still and listening to sounds my ears pick up…I’ll write!I spent my last two birthdays sadden by the pain of loneliness. I’m so happy to
I spent my last two birthdays sadden by the pain of loneliness. I typically don’t disclose much about my mental health challenges. I’m gaining the confidence to share more. Why? I realize through my story it may encourage someone to keep fighting to overcome their own obstacles. I remember those two birthdays so well.
Birthday #22 I was living Upstate in my family home juggling two jobs and attending college as a full time student. At the time, it was just my older brother, dog and I occupying the house. Just to paint a picture: the house was converted from a two family house to a one family house. It’s a big size for two people and a dog. I expected my brother to hang out with me but I was sadly mistaken. I spent the night alone in my room crying.
Birthday #23 I was living in NYC in my apartment juggling a part time job Friday-Sunday (23 hours) and attending college as a full time student. I remember feeling down and tired the entire day. I wanted someone to share my birthday with, besides my immediate family. The day was very challenging for me. I’m getting a little shaky thinking and writing about it now! TIME CHECK 11:25pm!! An array of emotions hit me that evening. I decided to leave my apartment and go for a walk in the cold! I love inhaling the air when I need to distress aka let go of unwanted emotions! I felt like that night would be my last….I just felt so lost and ashamed!
Birthday #24 I’m currently living in NYC in my apartment juggling a part time job Thursday-Sunday (28 hours), internship 3x a week (21 hours) and attending college as a full time student. I can’t help but give myself a clap on the back for juggling all of this! The saying is true: What doesn’t kill you MAKES YOU STRONGER!!! I interned today and went on a long walk! Also, shout out to the best internship everrrr: On Monday, January 9th I walked into the office to a surprise birthday party. Everything was decked out in dog style (dog paws, dog balloons, and lastly my favorite snacks in dog bowls). Yes, I love dogs! I was so surprised and felt so appreciated! Thanksss NYU for placing me at my internship!
Dear 23 year old self Brooklyn,
I am so proud of how far you’ve come! Keep holding on! The universe has a lot more in STORE for you! As you continue to walk by faith, remember you’re never alone! Grandma is looking down and is amazed at the strength you continue to demonstrate despite everyday adversities. Your resilience is truly remarkable!! I can’t help but cry and write this message…YOU MADE IT TO 24. I know when you were younger.. it seemed like Birthday #17 was your last…… I’ve watched you cherish every birthday since then! You have a heart that was designed to attract millions of souls… I know everyone always says Brooklyn you’re too friendly and happy. That’s accurate! Continue being that way BROOKLYN! #livingauthentically TIME 11:39pm…
As the clock continues to tick and tick, remember you’re not alone!
Dear 24 year old self Brooklyn,
Continue reading all those books you stumble across in Bobst Library! Somehow I find the time to read memoirs constantly! I look at them as a form of therapy! Yesterday I finished reading, It’s What I Do: A Photographer’s Life of Love and War by Lynsey Addario…. The book is amazing! It reminded me of Anthropology course I took two semesters ago. (I found myself highlighting constantly! Also, telling everyone about it).
As you start to embark on the journey of 24 remember never lose sight of FAITH! Continue believing in the things unseen. Listen to your heart, it will not fail you, Brooklyn! ……Just listen….. Your journey isn’t meant to be like others!
TIME 11:47pm… I know you’re probably wondering about that soul the UNIVERSE is preparing for you! He’s out there! Keep staying focus and he’ll stumble along within your path when you least expect it! Also, that path of yours will forever involve you relocating. Brooklyn people need you!! Thank you for understanding that!
TIME 11:57pm Brooklyn I’m so happy that you wrote about your future soulmate.
Ask. Believe. Recieve
Speak it- The UNIVERSE will CREATE IT!
Whether it’s days, months or years away!
You accomplished the first step. Identifying what you want! Continue believing.
Lastly, Go for it Brooklyn! Go for what your heart is telling you to do for POST Graduate plans! Things will continue to unfold that will act as as
He has plans to PROSPER your life! You’re FAVORED!
Brooklyn TIME11:52 pm
*11:59PM Ahhh, so this post is very personal! Enjoy! YOU MADE IT!!!
BYE Birthday #23 Thank you for everything!!