i can only…..

I’m currently sitting in the dark in front of the window….the heater in my apartment won’t turn off! The struggle is real. Welp, at least I know the heat works!! As my birthday is coming to an end in less than 46 minutes. I decided not to do my daily night routine, which consist of laying bed, being still and listening to sounds my ears pick up…I’ll write!I spent my last two birthdays sadden by the pain of loneliness. I’m so happy to

I spent my last two birthdays sadden by the pain of loneliness. I typically don’t disclose much about my mental health challenges. I’m gaining the confidence to share more. Why? I realize through my story it may encourage someone to keep fighting to overcome their own obstacles. I remember those two birthdays so well.

Birthday #22 I was living Upstate in my family home juggling two jobs and attending college as a full time student. At the time, it was just my older brother, dog and I occupying the house. Just to paint a picture: the house was converted from a two family house to a one family house. It’s a big size for two people and a dog. I expected my brother to hang out with me but I was sadly mistaken. I spent the night alone in my room crying.

Birthday #23 I was living in NYC in my apartment juggling a part time job Friday-Sunday (23 hours) and attending college as a full time student. I remember feeling down and tired the entire day. I wanted someone to share my birthday with, besides my immediate family. The day was very challenging for me. I’m getting a little shaky thinking and writing about it now! TIME CHECK 11:25pm!! An array of emotions hit me that evening. I decided to leave my apartment and go for a walk in the cold! I love inhaling the air when I need to distress aka let go of unwanted emotions! I felt like that night would be my last….I just felt so lost and ashamed!

Birthday #24 I’m currently living in NYC in my apartment juggling a part time job Thursday-Sunday (28 hours), internship 3x a week (21 hours) and attending college as a full time student. I can’t help but give myself a clap on the back for juggling all of this! The saying is true: What doesn’t kill you MAKES YOU STRONGER!!! I interned today and went on a long walk! Also, shout out to the best internship everrrr: On Monday, January 9th I walked into the office to a surprise birthday party. Everything was decked out in dog style (dog paws, dog balloons, and lastly my favorite snacks in dog bowls). Yes, I love dogs! I was so surprised and felt so appreciated! Thanksss NYU for placing me at my internship!

Dear 23 year old self Brooklyn,

I am so proud of how far you’ve come! Keep holding on! The universe has a lot more in STORE for you! As you continue to walk by faith, remember you’re never alone! Grandma is looking down and is amazed at the strength you continue to demonstrate despite everyday adversities. Your resilience is truly remarkable!! I can’t help but cry and write this message…YOU MADE IT TO 24. I know when you were younger.. it seemed like Birthday #17 was your last…… I’ve watched you cherish every birthday since then! You have a heart that was designed to attract millions of souls… I know everyone always says Brooklyn you’re too friendly and happy. That’s accurate! Continue being that way BROOKLYN! #livingauthentically TIME 11:39pm…

As the clock continues to tick and tick, remember you’re not alone!

Dear 24 year old self Brooklyn,

Continue reading all those books you stumble across in Bobst Library! Somehow I find the time to read memoirs constantly! I look at them as a form of therapy! Yesterday I finished reading, It’s What I Do: A Photographer’s Life of Love and War  by Lynsey Addario…. The book is amazing! It reminded me of Anthropology course I took two semesters ago. (I found myself highlighting constantly! Also, telling everyone about it).

As you start to embark on the journey of 24 remember never lose sight of FAITH! Continue believing in the things unseen. Listen to your heart, it will not fail you, Brooklyn! ……Just listen….. Your journey isn’t meant to be like others!

TIME 11:47pm… I know you’re probably wondering about that soul the UNIVERSE is preparing for you! He’s out there! Keep staying focus and he’ll stumble along within your path when you least expect it! Also, that path of yours will forever involve you relocating. Brooklyn people need you!! Thank you for understanding that!

TIME 11:57pm Brooklyn I’m so happy that you wrote about your future soulmate.

Ask. Believe. Recieve

Speak it- The UNIVERSE will CREATE IT! 

Whether it’s days, months or years away!

You accomplished the first step. Identifying what you want! Continue believing.  

Lastly, Go for it Brooklyn! Go for what your heart is telling you to do for POST Graduate plans! Things will continue to unfold that will act as  as

AFFIRMATIONS!

He has plans to PROSPER your life! You’re FAVORED!

Brooklyn TIME11:52 pm

*11:59PM Ahhh, so this post is very personal! Enjoy! YOU MADE IT!!!

BYE Birthday #23 Thank you for everything!!

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BLOGMAS#1 : CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, 1 MONTH UNTIL 2017 IS HEREEEEEEEEEEEE!

It’s currently 7:38pm. I’m finally home after a long day! While doing my nightly hygiene I remembered that I wanted to do some sort of Vlogmas on my blog. If you don’t know, Vlogmas (similar to blogging, but instead of words it’s a video) is when people post vlogs every day for the month of December. So here I go! I will post daily for the month of December!

I have so much to share! Stay tuneeeeeeeeeeee!                                                                                                             EXPLORE EVERYTHING THAT THE UNIVERSE OFFERS…

Brooklyn.

current mission…

Dear Brooklyn,

I want you to know that you’re a special human being, who has the POWER to change the WORLD. Yes, I wrote that correctly! You really do have the POWER TO CHANGE THE WORLD. Many may ask how? You should tell them, “You’re FAVORED and was given the will-power plus many more characteristics that are needed to CHANGE THE WORLD”. I know your story is deep, just promise you’ll hold on to it because someday you’re going to share it with the world! Right now, I know many thoughts are going through your mind about your “mission”. Please Brooklyn, Be still and know that I’m in CONTROL of your MISSION and I already know how you’re going to achieve that mission. Remember, there isn’t just one way to accomplish your mission, I have a lot in store for you so if you trust me.. “Be still and know I’m God and I have the will power to make dreams/ visions/ anything into reality!” That’s what I will do for you! Yes, I said that correctly! Keep following my foots prints Brooklyn! Your life is far from over, so don’t feel like you have to rush and accomplish your mission. I have blessed you with a big chunk of your MISSION, however, theirs a lot more to it!

On February 7, 2016 at 9:02am, Shaun King posted a status with the sole purpose to encourage people! What stood out to me the most was this-

Listen, life is absolutely going to throw you for some loops. You will have ups and downs. People will doubt you. You will doubt yourself. Through all of that, though, at least, three things will really pull you through… (1. Having a mission 2.Having a tribe 3. Consider God)

1. Having a mission. Others may say “knowing your purpose.” I like to say having a mission because your mission can change during different phases of life. I’m clear on my mission right now. That clarity pulls me through hard times because I know the mission isn’t finished. What’s your mission? You can have a few. Mine are to expose injustice, guide and love my kids through childhood, and to grow my marriage daily.

Brooklyn your current mission includes FINISHING out your Junior Year at New York University Silver School of Social Work while participating in as many opportunities as possible focusing on youth. Brooklyn, keep doing UNICEF! While achieving those, you must continue working your part time job- Trust me I know you want to find a new job, but THINGS ARE COMING SO JUST STAY STILL! Remember, what I said….. I’m in control!

You reposted Joyce Meyers status on February 04, 2016 at 5:23pm on http://www.facebook.com“Doubting your decisions after you make them will steal the enjoyment from everything you do. Make the best decisions you can and trust God with the results.” 

You made the decision! Now, it’s in my hands!

I have you there at New York University for a reason, stop thinking about the money Brooklyn. I’m in control of everything!! With God, your life has LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES.

P.S Take this letter as another affirmation! – This letter is you being still and listening to that voice, which is me talking to you! That’s how I work!

Forever & Always